I don't know the exact statistics, but if I had to guess I'd say there are about 10 billion new fails every day. That's just my estimate since most of them aren't documented. If a fail happens in a forest, but no one is there to see it, did the fail ever really happen?
Luckily, sometimes the universe gives us the perfect snapshot of a fail right in the moment it's happening. Is there anything more magical than seeing the exact moment when something went wrong? It's almost unbelievable that out of all moments, the camera would capture the perfect millisecond of failure. It's beautiful.
If you thrive off other people's misery like me, this list of fifty hilarious fails will recharge your spirits like the Energizer Bunny on crack. You may feel guilty about it afterward, but who cares? You only live once. Might as well spend that life laughing at people. Anyway, #43 will get you laughing so hard you'll fall to the floor.
Haven't we learned anything from horror movies? The creature is never really dead. It may be still for a little while, acting like it's dead, but it never is. Once you let your guard down it will revive to take its final victim before finally resting forever in hell. OK, so maybe that's all a little too serious for what happened in this photo, but the analogy is the same. Instead of being taken to hell with a demon, this girl was forced to actually kiss a fish. I don't know if it came back alive or if she just has butter fingers, but this made for a perfect fishy kiss.
If you're going to make some kind of joke like this, you better be ready for it to be true. Like if you pretend you're falling off a cliff, you better be prepared for the actual event of falling off the cliff.
When is the last time you gave some respect to the troops? Do you thank them for their service every time you see a former or current member of the military? I hope the answer is yes, because you have no excuse now. It takes absolutely zero effort for a human being to show their respect to the military. This dolphin had to completely jump out of the water to do it. That's some true dedication that we can all learn from.
I wonder if there has ever been a dolphin squad in the military. You might be thinking, "we'd have heard about it by now," but that's the kind of thing you keep a secret until you know it's going to work out. It's only a good idea if the dolphins don't immediately run away or turn on you.
The guy in the picture is the only one that seems to notice that the dog is going crazy back there. The girls are just worried about looking cute in their selfie. The apartment could be on fire, casting a beautiful amber glow, and a girl would want to stay to get the perfect selfie in the fire-light. "Just a few more pics. This lighting is perfect." / "Your skin is literally peeling off, Jennifer. We gotta go." When you have the perfect lighting, what can you do? You just have to go for it.
This dog is either fighting off some kind of invisible creature, or the dog is turning into a creature. I can't tell with just one frame. That's why I wish this was a video. You'd fast forward thirty seconds and the entire pool water would be red. "What... happened?"
Say hello to the real pimp. This thing rolled up on them and was like, "what's up, ladies? What's good tonight? Ya'll want some algae?" Unfortunately, like most ugly guys who immediately put their arms around a group of girls, these girls aren't having it. I think it has less to do with his approach and more to do with the fact that he's a manta ray. Everybody knows that ladies love octopi, not manta rays. It's all the arms, if you know what I mean.
These girls look truly horrified, and I don't blame them. If I were them I'd be pretty sure that I was going to die. A stingray killed Steve Erwin. That's not that far off from a manta ray. As far as I'm concerned, I don't want to be near either one of them.
This is already a creepy picture, isn't it? It looks like a photoshopped picture that just got duplicated over and over on top of each other. As you look closer everyone is obviously different, but if you look through hazy drunk eyes like me, it looks a little weird. That's why this yawning soldier stands out even more. In a world of uniformity, he's doing his own thing: being really tired.
You have to wake up at 5am at the minimum in the military (I'm assuming based off of movies and TV). No wonder this guy is tired, and when a yawn comes, it's not like you can just stop it. You have to ride that yawn out. Your commander could be right in front of you and you'd still have no choice but to rip a loud yawn.
I used to skateboard, and when you're hitting a jump, whether it be a half-pipe or a ramp, there's a brief moment where there's nothing but calm and you're actually flying. When I say brief moment, I very much mean brief. It lasts maybe half a second and you don't remember it most of the time. That's because right after that brief moment is a very long moment of slamming into the ground. If you're lucky enough to have a photographer with a fast camera you can catch that perfect moment, just like this photographer did.
About half a second after this photo was taken, this guy crashed... hard. The way the front of the bike is tipping forward is a sure sign that this didn't end well. In those situations, you're thankful there was a camera there to at least have a memento other than your broken bones.
OK, so I knew that Taco Bell can sometimes cause explosive diarrhea, but I thought the food had to be digested first. It looks like this Taco Bell just exploded outright. You know the food is spicy when it explodes in your hand. In all seriousness though, something went horribly wrong while this person ate their in-the-car lunch. One quick brake-job from someone in front of you can already ruin your car meal, but I've never seen the food fly out the side. Were they drifting?
I can't wait for the day when I don't need to have car meals anymore. I'm sick of rushing everywhere. It's not like I'm busy. It's just that I'm lazy and leave places late which forces me to get food on the way. I never said it was anyone's fault but my own.
This looks like something out of Speed Racer. In that show every car had tricks and traps, like smoke screens, flames, jumping abilities. Luckily those features don't come standard in most cars, but this truck seemed to have some kind of smoke screen option (aka engine trouble). He used to to show this Porsche driver what's up. Think you're so cool with your orange Porsche? Let's put a little bit of smoke on that.
Every Porsche driver is a jerk. Sorry, but you just are. The car turns you into one. They are hard to drive slow, so people zip around in them, and the fact that they're expensive makes people think that they are entitled to the road. If you drive a Porsche, trade it in for a Honda and get your soul back.
Did you know that even a small monkey like the one in this picture is strong enough to peel the skin off of your face? A huge body builder would have a harder time peeling the skin off your face than a tiny monkey. Isn't that reason enough not to ever get near one without an inch of glass between you? You don't know what that monkey is thinking. They don't know consequences. They might just peel your skin off like string cheese and think nothing of it.
This girl is lucky she walked away with her face still intact. It goes to show you, never turn your back on a monkey. Don't turn your back on an ape either, for that matter. They're just like monkeys but even stronger. What's stronger than an ape? A Metal Ape, an ape made out of metal. No, that's not a thing, but I guarantee it would be stronger.
There are some man-made creations that are so blasphemous that God cannot allow them to exist. Things like the nuclear bomb come to mind. Their power is too great. They have to be stopped. One such creation is the six foot sub. It's just too much sub, especially to be wielded by one person. Like the person who tries to open Pandora's Box, trying to harness the power of such a sandwich can only ruin you. That is what happened to this poor soul.
The power of the sandwich was too great for him. It crumbled in his hands, much like his crumbling dreams. It's perfectly fair to find a piece that hasn't touch the floor and to eat it though. I think that goes for any food that you drop on the floor, especially an eighty dollar sandwich.
Let's just put this out there, even though it might be common knowledge: fish don't like being caught. You know how people like to defend cow farms by saying that the cows like to be milked? Catching fish is nothing like that. There's no argument for it. Some would say it's akin to hunting. At least when you're hunting something like a deer you end up killing it instantly (hopefully) with a gunshot to the head. When you hunt fish you make the fish fight for its life for a few minutes before bring it up to suffocate. I'm not saying I'm a vegan or anything, but these are just the facts.
This fish was like "nope!" and bounced out of her hands hella quick. You can't blame the fish. It's like the song says, "it's hard out here for a fish, when you're trying to make some money for the rent."
Whoever took this picture deserves to get their ass beat as much as that dog does. In fact, everyone deserves to get their ass beat for this situation. One, if you know your dog is a hungry little guy, then you NEVER leave food at the edge of the table. Two, if you're taking the photo and you see the dog running up on that food, forget about the photo. At least he didn't go for the vegetable bedding. They can enjoy a nice vegetarian Thanksgiving.
This must have been a memorable Thanksgiving to say the least. You have to hope that this family has a good sense of humor. I know plenty of families that would use this as an excuse to yell at each other. Reflect on your own family situation. What would happen if your turkey got ruined?
Isn't there an old fable about a dog who is greedy for bones, so he always steals other dog's bones. One day he looks at a pond and sees a dog holding a delicious bone. He goes to bite for it and loses his own bone because it was just his reflection. I think in the non-kid friendly version of the fable he falls in the pond and drowns, but I think we get the point of the story without having to kill the dog.
I'm reminded of that fable because this dog is about to fall into that pond. That bed of leaves will not hold poor doggo's weight. Isn't it weird that we can't share the hilarity of this moment with the dog? The dog could never understand how this is funny. That's kind of tragic.
This photo is permanently ruined because everyone will always ask "who is she?" and they'll have to explain that it's just some random woman who got in the heart-crosshair. Once that's explained, everyone is going to ask, "why are you wearing sweaters at the beach?" After fifty more questions you finally get to the point where you can appreciate the picture. If I were them I would have introduced myself to the woman and offered to give her a copy of the picture. Might as well spread the joy.
Do their sweaters say RIP? Or do they say REP? EIther way that's a really weird thing for a father and son to have on their sweaters. It's way too gangster for either of them. Are they part of a father son gang? That would be pretty cool. I wonder what kind of crime they get into. Stock fraud?
Jenga is a game that really hammers home the fact that you lost. You literally break the game when you lose, sending the pieces everywhere. Imagine if when you lost at Chess the entire board exploded in your face. That's insult to injury. You can't help but give a frightened/excited expression when the Jenga tower finally falls. It's a visceral moment. That's how you can spot a psycho. If they don't make a single reaction when the Jenga tower falls, you should run. They're going to murder you.
The best way to play Jenga is giant Jenga. That's where each piece is the size of a brick. You thought regular Jenga was intense? These bricks can break your foot, homie. OK, so maybe they're not that heavy. Friction wouldn't allow for you to move the pieces *pushes up nerd glasses*
This is some real cat behavior. You may have seen jokes on the internet about cats pushing things off the counter. It's too real. They really love doing it. That's the type of thing that creatures who don't have to live with consequences do. It's the same principal for a lot of white people. They never had to deal with consequences so they end up doing wild stuff.
At least this cat only pushed off a bowl of covered noodles. My cats will knock off every single piece of glassware I have in the house. Then they never cut their feet on the glass left on the floor either. That should be the trade off so that they can learn consequences, but no. Cats never have to deal with consequences. Those hairy little punks never learn.
Here's the good news. It's a tennis ball. This isn't going to cause too much damage. If it were a baseball then we might have a problem, like the time my dad threw a baseball at my eyeball. OK, so maybe that's not fair to him. He through a totally valid throw at me and I failed to catch it. Well, not totally true. I caught it with my eye socket, but nobody is getting drafted into the MLB for their skill at catching with their eye socket.
I wonder what this person was doing throwing a ball at someone holding a camera. That's a jerk move. Hopefully that's a cheap camera. Don't ever throw a ball at someone with an expensive DSLR. That could end up being a $1,000 mistake. Lenses alone could cost over a grand.
You've heard that Jesus could walk on water, but did you ever hear about the dog who could walk on air? Well, here he is, folks. Due to someone taking a photo at the right place at the right time, you can see him for yourself. This is a great way to get dogs adopted from a shelter. Everybody wants a flying dog, don't they? I know I would, although I already hate taking dogs for a walk. I would hate to have to take my dog for a fly.
I live in an apartment so I need a lazy dog, not some hyperactive flying dog. Just by looking at this dog you can tell it's hyperactive. I need a dog who gets mad at me when we try to go on walks. That's the level of lazy that I'm at. It's an expert level of laziness.
Here we have two different reactions to the same thing. It really shows how different we are as people. One guy does a simple neck turn, almost like a judo move, while other other guy tries to slap it away with force. There's some kind of martial arts lesson to be learned here, but I just don't know what it is. I'll take this photo to my sensei and ask him, even though he keeps telling me to stop bringing him photos.
What kind of jerk throws a football at two guys taking a photo? Those are like the people who elbow drop the back of your head when you're blowing out your birthday candles. They take it too far and people get hurt. I don't know if you can tell, but I'm usually the type of person who gets hurt by things like that.
We know who didn't get laid that night. The guy on the far right. I'm not saying that I could do that either, but I wouldn't even try it because I know I'd drop my girlfriend right on her head. Both because I have no upper body strength and because I have a vendetta against her. What? If you don't have a vendetta against your significant other then you haven't been with each other long enough.
I've never had fun hanging out with a buff dude at the beach. One time I was playing flag football at the beach and there was one guy who was buff, shirtless, and had nipple rings. He would tackle me every chance he got and use the excuse that he was just very competitive. I hope that guy is dead and forgotten by his family.
This phone vibrated right when they took the picture, which might need to be a new feature on the iPhone 11. They could call it the Vibro-Shot. That's all that Apple seems to be doing is adding more camera features. All we want is a headphone AND a charger jack. Bring back that back and I'll be happy. Hell, bring back Steve Jobs while you're at it. He's probably chilling inside of an iPhone that they uploaded his consciousness to. Maybe I've just been watching too much Westworld.
I'd like to try and recreate this photo, but that could get annoying if I keep missing the picture at the right time. "Yo. text me again. I clicked the photo at the wrong time." Then I'd get distracted by instagram and forget to take the photo, over and over.
Before we even get to the fact that this guy is about to get whacked in the head with a full beer can, can we use this time to remind everyone that in a group photo you all need to look at the same place. With phone cameras, no one knows where to look. I always make an effort to say "everyone look at the left side" or whichever side the lens is on. It makes it even harder when you have multiple cameras pointing at you. Ugh. I hate it. But now that that's out of the way, let's talk about how this guy is about to get whacked.
What's crazy is that this is happening right at the moment when the can is starting to touch his head, yet not quite at the moment where he feels it. He's still smiling, enjoying his day at the game. Poor guy.
Earlier we saw the dog who was floating, and that seemed pretty impressive, all things considered. It sounds much less impressive to say that you saw a floating bird. Floating is a step down from flying, so if a bird is floating that kind of sucks. Imagine if you got super powers and those powers were to float. You'd be upset. Still, this makes for a cool shot.
What's up with birds who eat other birds? To me that feels crazy. There are hawks who fly around hunting sparrows and other small birds. That feels pretty close to cannibalism, yet no one freaks out about it. I guess it's not like there is anything we can do about it anyway. That's just nature. I'll write an angry letter and put it on a carrier pigeon. Hopefully the hawk doesn't eat the pigeon though.
Imagine being in the front row of this performance. You'd need a poncho or an umbrella. There's no escaping getting drenched. It's not like he can try to miss you. He's doing his thing. If he starts worrying about keeping the audience dry, no one is going to enjoy themselves. I'd be incredibly self conscious though. I do karate and when I sweat a lot I feel like such a piece of garbage. The mat where I was standing will be drenched. So gross.
Have you ever seen someone getting roasted so hard that they start sweating? I've seen it and it's a beautiful sight. It's like the brain is telling the body, "we're in a mayday situation! Run!" Next time you start sweating for seemingly no reason, just start running. That's what your body is trying to tell you to do.
Things happen when you play basketball. Elbows hit you, you get tripped, or disrespect happens. You have to be ready for it all. It doesn't mean anything though. You just have to move on when it happens. What about when another man picks your nose though? That's something that you can't let go. I feel like you two need to talk about that after it happens. It's so personal, you know? One man entering another man should never be taken lightly.
Last time I played basketball was with some random dudes in the park. They were very nice when they spoke English, but they weren't so nice when they spoke in Spanish. They didn't think I knew Spanish so they were talking smack about my game. Everything they said was right, but it still made me feel bad.
This guy got lucky with this photo. It's like he gets to try out two different haircuts to see which one looks better on him. Does he go clean cut like his usual self, or does he go for the ratty fro? I gotta say, the ratty fro is looking pretty good. There's something distinguished about the ratty fro, even if it isn't as well kept as the standard circular fro.
What does that say about the lady's hair behind him? That means her hair looks like a ratty fro! I bet it looks more feminine when you get up close to it, but this picture isn't doing her any favors. Luckily no one can see her face, so she's safe from scrutiny. Both of them are at an Obama rally, so I give them both well wishes. I love Obama.
Someone is going to run into this guy in public and say, "I saw you in that sexy little number by the bus stop," and he'll assume they finally found out that he's been prostituting at night to pay the bills. "You gotta understand. I didn't want to do it, but it's the only way I could pay the rent. You gotta understand." / "Phil, I was talking about the ad on the side of the bus. It made you look like you were wearing a dress... but anyway, how much for a roll in the hay?"
Bus advertisements are weird because I never want to look at them. I'm afraid I'll be staring at someone in the bus and not even realize it. No one wants to be stared at, especially when they're on the bus. Everyone just wants to be left alone on the bus.
In case you're a mad scientist and wanted to know what a half-falcon/half-man would look like, here it is. This is what it would look like. No need to go kidnap a man and do horrible experiments on him. We're lucky we don't live in an age with more mad scientists. I feel like the 60-80s had a ton of mad scientists, but I might just be basing that off of movies, which is what I base everything off of.
I wonder how close this guy is to that hawk, or falcon, or eagle. If I'm being honest, I have no idea what kind of bird this is. The one thing I do know is that I wouldn't go anywhere near it. We talked about how monkeys can rip off your face. Well, I'm sure that a bird like this could rip off my face just as easily.
This is the photorealistic version of the Snapchat dog face filter. Dog required, but that's not so bad. Just go down to the shelter, rescue a dog, and start taking photos. You'll have some great pictures and you'll be saving a life. Just make sure you get a dog with a big enough nose to take a picture like this. A pug won't give you the nose length you need, even if they are really cute.
What's up with the dog face Snapchat filter? I don't like how it turns me on. It instantly makes any girl hotter, which is really disturbing. It's like sunglasses but creepier. Anyone can look better with sunglasses on, especially big sunglasses, because they hide the most ugly features. The dog face does that too, which is crazy to me. Soon people will be getting surgery to look like the Snapchat dog face.
Let's hope they can breath under that thing. It's all fun and games until you show up the next day and they're still laying there with the magazine over their head, body cold. That's really dark, but if you aren't used to things getting dark with me, then we haven't spent 30 slides together, have we? I put my dark thoughts here on the page that way they don't sit in my brain and grow stronger.
Anyway, this is very unflattering. Now I can't imagine this person as anything other than hideous. I bet she's a beautiful girl with hopes and dreams just like anyone else, but this magazine mask makes me want to suffocate her with it. I don't know whose face that is, but I better never see them in person. Don't be startled. I warned you about my darkness in my mind!
Is this God saying what's up with Jesus? Maybe Jesus was in heaven with God and he was like, "can I get a high five, dad?" So, God, being the prankster that he is, said sure, then gave the Jesus statue a lightning five. That's how I imagine heaven to be like, which is why church is so boring for me. All the stories they tell in church don't have any high fives. What's up with that?
I'd love to check out this statue one day. It's hollow inside, which came as a surprise to me. I saw picture of a guy coming out of a little hatch on the top. I don't know why I thought it would be solid. That would be one heavy Jesus. I always imagined Jesus as being very light, like a welterweight.
I hope after the ball hit him he didn't move at all and just stayed there with his arms crossed as if nothing had happened. If you can, that's the best way to go about this situation. If people are laughing and they see that you didn't react at all, they'll start to question whether what they saw was real or not. "Did I really see that guy get hit in the face with a basketball, or am I going crazy?"
When I was in high school I was hanging out in the library and someone threw a full water bottle at my face. I just sat there and kept studying as if nothing happened. I consider it a victory. A few seconds later they threw another water bottle. Then another one and another one. They kept throwing them at me until I was under a mountain of water bottles.
That truck driver knew what he was doing. Truck drivers are jerks like that. They know that they can get away with anything. It's not like this is a little two door Honda that you can kick a dent into. If the truck wants to spray you with mud, it'll do it and then cruise away. If you try to chase it, it can just run you over. That's why we get such pleasure off of seeing big trucks crash. Unfortunately, that's not what this picture is about.
These two look like they are close enough to the beach to suffer a little bit of mud. Maybe they can catch a mud wave with that surfboard. This is just me looking on the bright side. This must have been horrible. That's not just mud and water. That's rocks, grease, oil, water, and maybe even urine.
Here we have a beautiful young woman enjoying herself at a concert. Why wouldn't you want to offer to buy her a drink? I can give you one reason. If your plan is to buy her a drink and then throw it at her face full force, then you might not want to offer to buy her a drink. That's just a suggestion, though what do I know. Girls these days might like that sort of thing.
At the concerts I've been to it's usually a great thing when you get sprayed with water. When was the last time you were at a concert and you were cold? Maybe at an old person's concert or something, where all you do is sit down and drink a glass of wine. At a real concert, like a metal show, you're begging for water.
Jumping off of a ramp is terrifying no matter what you're doing it in. It could be a skateboard, scooter, or bike. It's all pretty scary. There's something even more terrifying about jumping with a bike though. You're basically flying through the air with a huge hunk of metal. It's either going to land on you or you're going to land on it. If it starts to drift away from you, that's a whole other set of problems. Sometime tells me this guy is going to get the worst of it. The bike is drifting away from him, yet it still looks like it's going to end up hitting him.
I think this trick is called Superman Gone Wrong, or maybe it's Mega Jump to Neck Break. I don't see it being a big hit at the next year's X games.
Here's my advice. Just don't mess with four wheelers. Bad things happen on four wheelers. I rented some four wheelers in Wisconsin and the guy who rents them out told me that someone dies every week from riding the four wheelers, and those are just the statistics for the ones he rents out. Those aren't the national statistics, which must be way crazier. Either that or this guy is renting defective four wheelers.
That's not even the worst part of the story. The worst part is that I actually ended up crashing and breaking my shoulder in five places. It was the worst thing that ever happened to me. If I would have hit a tree, I'd be dead or paralyzed right now. Now I live my life to the fullest. I guess some good came out of it.
I don't know if this was her idea to stand in front of the wave, but I can tell you that it's a bad idea. People don't give water enough credit. A huge wave like that weighs about as much as a pallet of concrete. Would you really want that hitting you? If I were her I'd start running now. Then again this could have been a situation where the photographer said, "um, honey"- / "Shut up and take the photo." / "No, there's a wave." Then she turned around and was like, "uh oh."
Nature is not something to mess with. As soon as you think you can mess with nature, nature comes back and bites you in the butt. The ocean can just pull you in and never burp you out. The wind could send you sailing off a clif.
I remember learning a very specific physics lesson. It doesn't quite apply here, but it could have helped. If you're swinging something, you have to let go at ninety degrees from where you want it to fly. It won't fly away the direction that you let go. That's important to know because it could mean the difference between Jason's sling hitting Goliath or hitting one of his friends. That would have totally ruined that Bible story.
Whenever this girl jumped off the swing, it was the wrong time. Honestly, I have no advice on how to land when you're falling like this. If you stick your arms and legs out then you'll end up breaking them. If you don't stick your arms and legs out then you end up breaking your face. Some situations are no-win scenarios.
One of these guys is not alive anymore. The reason I say that is because either the victim was killed by the hammer, or after getting hit by the hammer he became enraged and killed the guy who threw it. That's just how man-law goes. If you strike at me, you better kill me because I'm coming back with a fury. Good old, man-law. Gotta love it.
That is no ordinary sledgehammer. That's an old, rusty number. There's nothing good about getting hit by that. This is just the price to pay for a hangout with the guys though. If you're chilling with a bunch of guys and there's beer and vodka on the table, someone's got their shirt off, and there's a weapon around, you better believe someone is getting hurt. I'm very experienced in these types of hangouts.
GOAT stands for Greatest of All Time. GPOAT stands for Greatest Photo of All Time. GGPOAT means Greatest Goat Picture of All Time. Start to know these acronyms because they will become very popular some day. At least I hope so. I had about a thousand GPOAT and GGPOAT shirts made. I really need these things to sell.
I wonder what this girl was doing with a goat in her room. Maybe she didn't know it was in there, which definitely adds to the surprise. I could see being that surprised by seeing a goat jump at you, but I'd poop my pants if a goat I didn't know what in my room jumped at me. That's a whole different story. It has a collar on, so I'm guessing it's a pet. That doesn't stop it from being so creepy it made this incredible photo.
This is the risk you run by looking cool and sitting on the rail. You know what's not cool? Losing your balance! You know what's even less cool than losing your balance? Getting super wet when you don't want to. You know what's ultimately not cool? I think you know where I'm going with this - losing your balance and falling into water, getting wet when you don't want to. Wow, this guy really ticked all the boxes for not being cool.
I hope his friends are ready to jump in and save him after he's smacked his head against the wall and fallen into the water. This picture catches them in that phase where they haven't fully realized that something has gone wrong yet. That's what makes a great photo like this. You need seemingly uncaring people to look at the person while they fail.
This lady must have had one too many poolside mimosas. One minute she's talking to her friends, then she's wondering why the clouds are moving so fast. Splash. I hope she can swim, although she doesn't look like the swimming type. For one she's not wearing a swimsuit. For another thing, she's not even reacting to falling. I can't imagine her water reactions are very good.
Pushing people into pools was a much better activity before cell phones. Before cell phones there weren't that many things you could have on you that would be completely ruined by water. Now we hold one thousand dollar computers in our pockets at all times. If you push someone in a pool you could be looking at a one thousand dollar lawsuit. I advise that you leave your phone on a table or something. At least if it gets stolen someone will be able to use it.
Here's a tip for you dog owners. Don't throw the ball at a tree, cliff, or body of water. Your dog will go for it. Even some humans would go for it. I know I would, if it was a good ball. You don't want to waste the throw of a good ball just because an obstacle is in the way.
Whenever I've taken my dog into the veterinarian I always get made to feel guilty by the vet. I'll be like, "my dog ran where there was some broken glass and cut his paw," and then they look at you accusingly and ask, "why did you let him do that?" I don't know, vet. Maybe because he's a one hundred and twenty pound saint bernard so he does whatever the hell he wants. Even if he was a small dog, you can't help these dogs from being stupid every single moment of the day.
This reminds me of the American Gothic painting. That's the painting with the old man and the old woman standing next to each other in front of a farm. It's very famous for one reason or another, although I just know about it from cartoons making fun of it. I look back and there are quite a few historical or artistic things that I'm only aware of because of shows like Animaniacs. Thank you, cartoons.
This the Millennial Gothic. Here you have a solo blogger getting hit in the face with a dodgeball. Playing dodgeball is the new marriage for millennials. It's easier to find a rec dodgeball league than it is to find and pay for having a partner. Plus, weddings are expensive. You can get the same feeling of a relationship with your eight other teammates.
Here's the problem when you get a dog from the shelter. You might be getting a perfectly normal dog, or you might be getting a demon dog from the hell dimension. You just never really know until you take them home and their face contorts into their demon form. That's the risk of rescuing something, I guess. That's why I only go to breeders who specifically breed hell dimension demon dogs.
I love seeing slow motion shots of dogs grabbing for food. There are entire picture books dedicated to this craft. You can go to the bookstore and flip through one, never buying it. I would love to see a human-based book about this, but humans don't eat fast enough. The thing that makes it so great for dogs is that they dark towards the food so quickly that their cheeks look like sheets in the wind.
"Honey, can you put a little sunscreen on my back?" / "Sure. What do you want? The SPF H20?" / "What's that?" SPLASH! This is a harmless, fun prank, unless she's hiding her cell phone some place very creative. I'm not going to say specifically where, because I'm not that creative. It looks like all will end well with this prank, as long as this isn't the hundredth prank in a row he's done to her. There are entire Youtube channels dedicated to a boyfriend pranking his girlfriend. You better be sharing that ad revenue, dude. No one is watching for you. They're watching for her!
I used to prank my mom whenever she came home for a nap. Looking back, that was incredibly cruel. She was just trying to take a nap in between working double-shifts.
This looks like a birthday celebration gone wrong. You blow out the candles and make a wish, but that wish has tobe that you weren't on fire anymore. It's the best wish at the time, even if you could have wished for a million dollars, or a million more wishes. I guess she could have wished that she wouldn't be on fire a million times. That should cover any person for their entire lifetime's worth of getting set on fire.
I see a little Pabst Blue Ribbon can on their table. These girls look too young to drink, but I'm also getting older, so everyone looks too young to drink. I try to avoid college bars because all I see is my former self in the eyes of all the patrons. It's very depressing, especially considering what I've become.
There's no use crying over spilled milk. If someone is going to go wrong, you might as well make it go wrong in the best way possible. This guy knew he was going to crash, all while it was being filmed, so he made the best of it and went for the double thumbs up. If he ended up breaking a bone or dying, who cares? Everyone would have a great funeral picture of him. "Here we see him the say way that he lived, blissfully unaware that he was going to die."
This all gives me flashbacks to my four wheeler accident. There was no time to give the thumbs up. There was enough time to think, "this is going to be bad." At least I was right. It feels good to be right.
Funny, I don't remember this guy ordering an iced coffee. Hehe. That's a 5/10 burn, if that, but then again it's the end of the article. Were you expecting my best burns at the end of the article? In fact, why don't you find my best burns and put them in the comments. Who doesn't love social engagement?
I don't know why people even try to walk on ice, other than the fact that they often don't have a choice depending on where they live. I've always slipped when walking on ice. No matter how careful I am, it still happens. You'll be walking half a mile an hour and still end up slipping with incredible force. It's better just to run full speed and hope for the best. It's like they say, go big or go home.
Sometimes you luck out when you're the fat guy in the group. Everyone loves you for being the fat guy, and the only way you're made fun of is in roundabout ways like people wanting to slap your belly as a party trick. Other times you're the fat guy in the group who is constantly made fun of for being fat. I think the only thing that dictates which you'll be is confidence. If you're confident you'll end up as the party trick guy. It beats being called Fatty McFat Fat.
Those ripples are impressive. I'd like to do an art experiment where we put a bass speaker up against his belly and see all the fun those folds have. We could call it Phat Beatz and put it on the 3rd floor of the MOMA.
