4. Bad Driver Discount

4. Bad Driver Discount

Here's the transcription of the conversation ten minutes before this incident: "Would you like the Bad Driver Discount when transporting your father's casket to the cemetery?" / "Maybe. What's that entail?" / "It's half the price, but the driver might be so bad that your father's body never makes it to the grave. The driver might also have sex with the body." / "... fifty percent, you say?"

This isn't the best commercial for this hearse company. Let's hope they left the logo off the hearse or else I could see their business dipping after this incident. The driver is all, "it's OK, everyone. This guy murdered women. This is a good thing." That's how I'd try to save the situation so that I end up looking like the good guy. What can I say? I adapt quickly.

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Did You Know...

I

When you fly by private jet charter, you experience travel comfort known only to those who know private jets. And nothing illustrates this luxury better than celebrity private jets. Stars with their own private aircraft fly fancy.

II

John Travolta, the star of 70s cult movies like “Grease” and “Saturday Night Fever”, is not only one of the most famous Hollywood actors, but also one of the best celebrity pilots. John Travolta is a bonafide aviation enthusiast with five private planes total, which he parks on his front lawn. His most impressive aircraft is a customized Boeing 707-138 (as pictured above), a beast of a plane that he acquired in 1998 upon his promotion to an honorary pilot of Qantas, the Australian airline.

III

Oprah Winfrey’s production company HARPO bought her custom-built Global Express XRS VIP business jet to provide the media mogul and her associates with maximum aviation comfort. Oprah’s private jet features designer fixtures in the bathroom and galley, along with an exquisite all-leather interior. The aircraft was designed by Bombardier Aerospace to perform as a premier long-range business jet. Custom design allowed for an enhanced cabin layout with nine cushy leather seats, aesthetically-placed lighting, and additional luxury amenities. The jet cruises through the air at high speeds, made possible by two Rolls-Royce BR710 turbofan engines, which produce enough power to send HARPO clear across the map with only one refuel stop

IV

Tom Cruise played an elite naval fighter jet pilot in the blockbuster movie “Top Gun”, and he now indulges his real love for flying in his own Gulfstream IV, one of the finest celebrity private jets around. Cruise’s beautiful business jet accommodates up to 19 passengers, providing comfort and class with state-of-the-art furnishings and aircraft technology. The jet even automatically refreshes the air inside the cabin every two minutes. Designed by Gulfstream Aerospace, Cruise’s jet is powered by two Rolls-Royce Tay 611-8 engines, propelling the aircraft to a maximum altitude of 45,000 feet over a maximum range of 7,820 km, zipping through the air at speeds up to Mach 0.80.

V

Mark Cuban, business mogul and owner of the Dallas Mavericks, landed himself in the Guinness Book of World Records for purchasing his Boeing 767-277 online in 1999, making “the largest single e-commerce transaction”. Cuban modified the jet with large, custom seats to give his team’s lengthy players plenty of room while flying.

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