38. Save the Machinery

38. Save the Machinery

This is too true. Those stupid little creases don't do anything to help you crack the cracker. You know that there's a whole machine dedicated to making those little dots in the cracker. Let's just save the factory some money and quit it on those dots. They're never going to work, and they don't really even need to be there. Give us long crackers. We're fine with that. Right now we're just breaking them off into jagged daggers anyway.

I love a good cheese and cracker plate. If you're going to have one of those at your party, invite me. I'm a cheese guy for sure. I only eat the crackers with the cheese so no one says, "Julio, you're eating way too much cheese. Have some cracker, like a good boy." Yes, that's how people talk to me.

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Did You Know...

I

Over the years, weve seen so many food trends come and go, such as ramen burgers, matcha, and spiked ice-cream. Nowadays, were seeing another trend making waves in the food industry. How many times today have you seen an Instagram photo of a scoop of black ice cream, or a cup of black yogurt, or hamburgers with black buns? Indeed, the charcoal trend has taken the world by storm.

II

So, what gives your latte that deep black shade? Activated charcoal, or coconut ash, is produced by heating coconut shells to insanely high temperatures until theyre burnt to a crisp. The ashes are then increased in size by steaming at high temperatures. Through this process, the ashes become a strong detoxifier, mostly because they become extra absorbent. This product may be purchased in pill form, and promises to alleviate hangovers, minimize the effects of food poisoning, and fight the visible signs of aging.

III

Activated charcoal is said to boost ones energy as a result of decreasing toxins in the body. However, no evidence proves that detoxifying can lead to increased energy. Also, while it can help cure a hangover, it doesnt necessarily remove alcohol from your blood. It is also said to aid in debloating your stomach because it cleanses your colon but again, this all anecdotal and isnt supported by scientific evidence as of yet. All we can say for sure is that it is a proven detoxifier.

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